The Mediocre Designer says your site is crap, Part Deux

Let’s just bully our way in, shall we?  More tips, this time for your client’s sites, rather than your own web design company’s site (there’s little difference, but it’s always worse if your own site sucks).

1. Do not have overly-compressed images on the site, anywhere. Most people have faster-than-dial-up internet speed AND images aren’t usually THAT large, so it’s safe to set your jpg compression to 90 or above. Images that are overly compressed look unprofessional and old. Example (check that top image)
2. Scroll down to the bottom of that example page. Note the “XHTML Compliant” and “CSS Compliant” badges. Worn with pride! Ditch ‘em. It isn’t pertinent to the client’s information and, in theory, provides yet another way to distract the viewer with a needless link away from the page. Maybe it’s OK to have them on your own web design company’s site…maybe…but never on the client’s. The average viewer won’t even know what they mean.
3. Don’t call the index page a “Home Page.” That’s the phrase used in the 1990′s, when your little cousin Nikki wanted a page about her My Little Ponies. Personal sites have “home pages” but a business doesn’t have a “home.”  Call it “Main” instead.
4. Did you know that some people are color blind? Keep that in mind when designing what color text to put over the background. Hate to pick on this site again (no I don’t…) but check the very top. You don’t need to be color blind to see that it’s very, VERY difficult to read.

The Mediocre Designer says your site is crap

…so you KNOW you’ve done wrong. Take note, designers, these tidbits are referencing pages that actually appear on various web design companies’ own sites. Yes, your high-end or mediocre brethren made these errors:

1. Your design website still has a “copyright 2004″ at the bottom. It is 2009 and, as of this posting, nearly 5 months into the year. Update your site, it looks mighty unprofessional to have the wrong year. It also looks like maybe you aren’t in business anymore.
2. Woman with wind-blown hair wearing headphones. Example. It’s overused and doesn’t have any clear message. It’s likely supposed to give the impression of “airy freedom” but what it really says to me is “I was feeling uncreative that day so reached for the low-hanging fruit.” This image is the opposite of innovation. *
3. Business man or woman with folded arms (or laptop) and a blue sky behind them, looking smug. What? Why? Again with the “airy freedom” that really says “this is overdone and improbable and, more importantly, uncreative.” *
4. On your company portfolio, having a blurry snapshot of a site you designed. I really like Metaspring’s stuff since it’s colorful and catchy (no, I don’t work there), but this? Bad news, man. If it were up to me, I’d actually clean off a couple of their more aged items, since their newer stuff is more interesting.
5. Anything that re-sizes my frickin’ browser when I click it. This just happened.  I won’t even link to the offending site it ticked me off so much. Check yo javascript before you wreck yoself.
6. Last, and likely the most important one: If you are using the term “rich media” anywhere on your site, put down your mouse, find a phonebook and get a hold of a nice job-search expert because you need to find a new career right now. That is an old term that only old fogeys use, coined back when people called links “hyperlinks” and the term “hypertext” was also commonly used. Do not ever use this term. I don’t care WHAT that 10-year veteran of web design told you. He doesn’t know jack and his designs probably look like Geocities cast-offs.

*I will try not to apply sciences to these, but since you asked: Girl with headphones is usually pictured standing indoors. Where is the wind coming from? Why would business people be standing outside? In suits? What are they smug about? I think it looks pretentious.